Friday 27 September 2013

How are you?


“So, how are you?”
Have you been asked that question lately?  I have.  At least a half dozen times today alone.  It would have been nice to be able to have an easy answer but the problem was that most often I don’t really have an answer that I can put words to.  As the inquiring mind sits and awaits my response, my mind battles how to respond.  I could give the proverbial nod and smile, “Doin’ alright” response but honestly, I’ve become a little sick of such trite conversation.  

I guess what I battle with most is a question of my own:
“Do they really want to know?”

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t live a horrible life and it’s not my habit to complain.  It’s an imperfect life that I love and wouldn’t trade for anything.  
My kids keep me busy, my home needs a good cleaning, my hands long to start a new painting even while I have a dozen other projects that need to be done first.  I’ve been fighting with my mental focus and my ability to hang onto details, and it’s driving me nuts!  
How much do you want to know?

Do you want to hear that when you ask that question, my mind explodes into a jumble of activities and circumstances that quickly fades into a fog of indistinguishable happenings?  Do you want to know that while each of my days is highlighted with beauty and joy, they all seem to just run together?  

Ask me how I am and wait.  I’d like to try to explain the connection between the fog of my mind and the swirl of my heart but really all that would come out would sound something like:
“Well, you know...  I feel.”

End of story.  Can you hear the crickets chirping?  Exactly.  The more I think about it, it becomes stranger and stranger...  Even stranger is that I become calmer and calmer.  
So there it is...  I feel.
So, I now ask, how are you?